Sounds Like A Plan
by Fates Daughter
Summary: Hurley and Michael try to have a good night's rest but strange noises coming from the jungle keep them preoccupied. What could they be? A bit of a crack!fic written for the 'What are you talking about' challenge.


* * *

"Yo, dude, Michael, you hear that?" Hurley whispered.

It was dark on the beach and everyone was asleep except for Hurley, who was interrupted from his sleep.

"Hear what?" Michael grumbled, clearly annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night.

"Those…those noises. Sounds like…animals, killing each other or something."

"Hurley, are you scared just because of a few animals going at it in the jungle?"

"Course not! You never know if it's some…huge polar bear or something though."

"Polar bear? Hurley, you're out of your mind." Michael said, dismissing the issue and turning around to sleep.

"Yeah, well, it could happen." Hurley tossed around and tried to get to sleep.

* * *

"Mmm, Good morning, Jack" Kate said as she idly rolled over.

"Mmm. Good morning, Sa—Kate my sweetie" Jack mumbled as he rolled over to look into her sparkling eyes.

"Oh Jack, that was one hot night." Kate played with her hair and threw Jack a coy smile. "We have to do that again sometime soon. How about we meet behind the waterfalls during sunset?"

"Sounds like a plan, Kate" Jack said as he yawned and fell back asleep.

* * *

"Mmm, good afternoon, Sawyer" Jack said as he stalked towards Sawyer, hips swaying dangerously.

"Mmm, good afternoon, Doc." Sawyer replied, throwing his hair back precariously and letting his voice growl.

Jack stopped a few inches in front of Sawyer and leaned forward to whisper in Sawyer's ear.

"How about we meet on the deserted side of the beach near midnight, when the moon rises?"

"Sounds like a plan, Doc" Sawyer purred as he snuck a grope of Jack's finely toned booty.

* * *

"Mmm, good evening, Kate" Sawyer said as he sauntered forward towards the waterfalls,

"Mmm, good evening, Sawyer" Kate said as she continued to wash her face.

"You look worn out, girl, what have you been doin' when I'm away?" Sawyer asked, slyly sneaking up.

"Oh not much, Sawyer, just been helping Jack out, you know he's been pretty stressed out lately" Kate replied nonchalantly, tying her hair back and preparing to leave.

"Oh yeah? Well how about you help me out, Freckles?" Sawyer edged closer but Kate pushed him off playfully.

"I'm kind of worn out tonight, Sawyer" Kate said with a grin as she started to walk away.

"How 'bout tomorrow at sunrise, near the golf course?"

"Sounds like a plan, Sawyer" Kate said over her shoulder as she walked away.

* * *

"Dude! Michael, did you see those two shadows walking towards the deserted side of the beach just now?" Hurley asked urgently around the campfire, pointing into the darkness.

"No…. Hurley, what are you talking about?" Michael asked as he squinted to the direction Hurley was pointing. "I don't see nothing, it's too dark, but the moon's coming up."

"What are you talking about?" Kate said as she sat down next to Michael.

"Dude, I just saw two figures walk towards the deserted side of the beach and the moon's just coming up" Hurley said excitedly, "I think we should go check it out."

"Haha, Hurley, I don't think you should. Maybe they just want some time together" Kate said knowingly. It's not like she never had to dodge Hurley before when she tried to sneak off with Sawyer, or Jack.

Kate squinted to the distance when the two figures suddenly disappeared into the trees, but they didn't disappear fast enough, because Kate thought that—

"Hey, those two looked like dudes" Hurley said.

Michael frowned and turned to Hurley.

"Dudes? You mean, they're—"

"Jack and Sawyer!" Kate screamed. She quickly got up and ran across the sand towards the area where the two guys disappeared.

"What is _she_ talking about?" Hurley asked.

"I don't know, she said something about Jack and Sawyer. What are _you_ talking about?" Michael retorted.

"What are _you_ talking about?" Hurley gasped, "Jack and Sawyer? No way! That's as stupid as Harry Potter and the Potions Master hooking up."

"Harry Potter?" Michael asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Er, dude, never mind" Hurley said, ending the conversation.

Somewhere in the bush, a loud scream echoed throughout the island, a scream that sounded a lot like Kate.

Hurley never heard the strange animal noises again.

* * *

Fin. 


End file.
